I’ve given you my everything.

You just take and take and take.  I have nothing to show for the last 5+ years except scars, fat, pain and anger.  What the fuck is wrong with me?  Why did I let this happen.  I have lost all friends because of you, even ones I met because of you.  I am far away from any one single person that actually gives a shit about me.  I have supported you like a fucking moronic dumbass.  I guess that’s what I am.  It would be one thing if this hadn’t fucking happened before.  At least before I still had friends.  I still had my family.  I have my family now, they are just so far away.  Like over 3,000 miles far.  You have sucked the life out of me and I just let it happen like some kind of fool.  You have taken advantage of me more times than I can count.  What happens when the day comes that I don’t wake up, or you come home and I am no longer here?  What is keeping me here?  Currently, the unemployment and free car insurance are keeping me here.  Also how about the deals you made where now I am forced to be here and take care of all the things because you made a deal.  Of course I would still be here to care for the chickens, and my garden, but the assumption you made that I would do all this other stuff… what do I get out of it?  You wasting your money and taking mine? In the end, nothing really matters but you, and how you brought all of this stuff to “feed the homeless”  for “the family” you know what you do all of this shit for?  It so people can tell you how great you are, how amazing you are, how fabulous everything is, how they don’t know how they have lived their life without whatever it is that you have… and the only reason why you have anything at all including a vehicle and a home is because I had to take care of us.  I went on this adventure and then you began ignoring me, you because treating me like I was a burden, then I got really sick and now I really am your burden, except my money pays for your fun, you accolades.  There is no quality left in our relationship.  I am glad you’re leaving for Rainbow.  I don’t want you to call me and tell me horrible things, I don’t want you to call me and tell me what I am missing out on, and I certainly don’t want you using my bank card. I have to figure out how to pay the rent, utilities, insurance and the other bills while you’re out talking shit and getting worshiped by wingnuts.  Oh and I’m sure you’ll bring home like 15 people for me to figure out where to put.  FUCK!!!!!
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